Step by Step
by SpellCleaver
Summary: What if Celaena had told Sam who she was when he asked? Set in The Assassin and The Empire. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Throne of Glass. This was written purely because you can never get enough of Sam and Celaena.**

* * *

 _"He also told me to ask you what really happened before he found you half dead on that riverbank when we were children." Sam leaned forward, bracing a hand on the floor as he brought his face close to hers. "And you know what I told him?" His breath was hot on her mouth. "That I didn't care. But he just kept trying to bait me, to make me not trust you. So after he walked away, I went right to the docks and found the first ship that would take us away from this damned continent. Away from_ him _, because even though we're out of the Guild, he will_ never _leave us alone."_

 _She swallowed hard. "He said those things to you? About. . . About where I came from?"_

 _Sam must have seen something like fear in her eyes, because he suddenly shook his head, his shoulders slumping. "Celaena, when you're good and ready to tell me the truth, you'll do it. And no matter what it is, when the day comes, I'll be honoured that you trust me enough to do so. But until then, it's not my business, and it's not Arobynn's business. It's not anyone's business but your own."_

* * *

She took a deep shuddering breath at the earnesty in his brown eyes. He stepped forward and held her hands between his own, creating a semblance of comfort for the both of them, even if it was superficial.

He was the one who broke under the heavy silence first, and he played with her fingers nervously as he said, "I'm not going to pry, Celaena. But if you want to tell me, you can tell me."

Her eyes were bright with tears, and her love for him was overwhelming in that moment, at just how pure, how kind, how _i_ _nherently good_ Sam was. So different to the darkness that lurked beneath her skin. What had she ever done to deserve him?

She reached up with their intertwined hands to wipe away a tear from her face. When she met Sam's eye again, she breathed, "I can't leave for the Southern Continent, Sam. I can't abandon Erilea."

His brows were creased as he asked softly, like he could tell that this was a delicate topic, "Why not?"

She closed her eyes against the spite and self loathing in her own words. "Because it's bad enough that I abandoned Terrasen when they needed me the most, and went on to become a killer! It's bad enough I took Lady Marion's sacrifice and spat in her face!" Her voice had risen to a near screech, but then it dropped, and was soft and melancholy. "I can't abandon the continent to the King of Adarlan, too. I need to suffer alongside the people I betrayed."

Sam sensed that her knees were about to give out, and gently used his grip on her hands to steer them towards the lavish sofa in the centre of the living room. Only once they were seated did he slide his hand up to clasp it round her elbow in a gentle caress and ask, "Who was Lady Marion?"

Celaena felt the tears begin to slide down her cheeks as she choked out. "The Lady of Perranth. She was my nursemaid, and when the assassin came to kill my parents and me, she went down fighting to give me time to run." His grip grew firmer, like he knew that without that tether to him, and to the present, she would slip away into her past of blood and tears and destruction.

She was sobbing as she said, "I failed them all. I was meant to hide under a bush and wait for Aedion, Hen, _anyone_ I knew to come and find me. But then the assassin had a horse, and I couldn't outrun him, so I ran to the bridge over the river."

Celaena felt Sam seize up beneath her at the mention of the river, and she answered his question before he asked it. "It was the same river Arobynn found me on the banks of - the Florine River. The assassin had cut the bridge, presumably so we couldn't run, and I didn't see that he'd cut it until it was too late. I fell into the river."

His thumb had started rubbing smooth circles on the back of her knuckle, and she flexed their laced fingers as she said. "It was winter, in Terrasen, and the water was freezing, and I was only eight years old. I fell in and I can just remember grabbing the nearest thing there was to hold onto, which was a floating log, and gripping it like the lifeline it was. I went under the water and then I can only remember kicking and kicking until I broke the surface, and then nothing. I think it was so cold, and I'd been deprived of oxygen for so long, that I blacked out. When I came to, I was in that room in the Keep, and Arobynn was standing over me.

"And then I knew it was over, and that I had lost everything." She wiped at her eyes again. She was surprised she was crying this much: she never felt comfortable enough around a person to cry in front of them. But for Sam, she would rattle the stars. She would do anything.

Sam's voice was coaxing as he asked, "Who was Aedion?"

She swallowed, and her vision blurred again as she remembered the glowing, tan face of the one she'd betrayed. "Not was. _Is._ Aedion Ashryver. Now he's the Commander of the Bane, and one of the King of Adarlan's most respected generals." She swallowed again. "He was - is - my cousin."

"Aedion Ashryver. . ." Sam murmured, then he tensed beside her. "So that means you're-"

"I'm Aelin Ashryver Galathynius." She said, and the name tasted foreign on her tongue, but also familiar. It was much like whenever she tried to speak Eyllwe, and the words she'd once studied in the Library of Orynth came to her both easily and with difficulty. "I'm the lost princess of Terrasen."

Sam was silent for a long time. When she finally searched for his eyes with her own, they were solemn, but compassionate - and the stare he gave her was the same loving one he always had.

"If you think this changes anything," he said, and his voice cracked. "If you think this changes anything, Celaena, Aelin, whatever your name is, then you're wrong. You're so wrong. You are still the girl I grew up with, and the girl I fell in love with." His hand came up to cup her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. "I love _all_ of you - past, present, and future. Your name isn't going to change that."

She choked on a sob. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "I believe you've mentioned it before."

They were silent for a moment, before Sam said. "So, Aedion is your cousin?" He paused, then admitted, "Sometimes, when we were younger, you would get nightmares, and say his name in your sleep." A half smile quirked the corner of his lips. "When we were thirteen, I got a little jealous."

"The fact that you ever thought of us together in that way makes me feel a little ill. He's my _cousin,_ and I was _eight_."

"I'm just stating the facts." A beat. "What now?" When she was silent, he added, "I get it if you don't want to leave the continent, but. . . Why don't we go North? To Orynth?"

She immediately buried her face against his shoulder. "I can't. I can't go back to Terrasen. Especially not Orynth."

His arm came round to rest on the small of her back, gently cradling her to him. "Why not? It's your home. It's where you wanted me to take your body if you didn't get out of the sewers."

Celaena shuddered at the memory, but the she said, voice near silent and broken, "Because I took Lady Marion's sacrifice and became a monster. Because going back would imply that I'm ready to stand against Adarlan, and I'm not. I won't ever be. And doing so is just a sure fire way to get the both of us killed."

Sam's voice was soft. "You don't want to take vengeance on the man who slaughtered your family? That doesn't sound like the Celaena Sardothien I know."

Her grip on him tightened. "Of _course_ I want revenge. But with magic disappeared, then there's no way I'm strong enough to take him on. Not yet."

"And there's the magic word." He said, and his face was open. " _Yet_."

At her silence, he pressed on. "I'm not going to push you. If you want me to call you Aelin, I'll call you Aelin. If you want me to call you Celaena, I'll call you Celaena. Just say the word. And I'm not leaving you," he continued, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm not leaving. I'll stay with you, and if one day, you feel strong enough to take on the king and exact vengeance, then I'll be there, helping you rally your army. But go at your own pace. I won't ask you to do something you're not ready to do."

She closed her eyes. "And if I want to reclaim my throne, and make you my King?"

She heard his breath catch, but he said, "Then I'll be by your side, healing your shattered country. And we'll adapt to it together. Step by step."

She mirrored the words, and told herself to breathe. Breathe in. "Together." Breathe out. "Step by step."


End file.
